Plain black and white truth

No Picture today. No fancy writing. Today I am Putting the plain black and white truth on this post.

I have a HUGE variety of friends and family. When you see me, I am myself no matter what. But I have this awesome personality that I can transform to the different crowd I am hanging with at the time. I have some friends that people are like "wow ya'll are that close?, But Ya'll are so different!" Yea I am the Woman that can get along with almost anyone. But Caution, That also means when I get mad, I Blow.

I am a Christian, No I am not perfect by no means. I have some things that I do in my life that may not be considered right. I try to live my life the way I think it needs to be lived. I have spent alot of my life holding back, and being held back and I refuse for anyone to judge me before walking a mile in my shoes of my life and what I have been through. I do not go to church as often as i should, But That is my problem. Yes I drink. I do not get completely trashed and I know how to control my alcohol. I dont drink to get hammered. I drink because I like the taste and it loosens me up alittle. Being an adult comes with learning how to control certain things in your life and I think I am doing a pretty dang good job if it.

As a Christian arent we suppose to love? Love with a open and non judging heart? Isn't the jusging suppose to be left up to God? I Think so. and Thats why I LOVE all of my friends. No matter what they do or don't do. If I don't agree with their lifestyle, They most likely know it and know that I do respect the decisions they make even if I Do not agree. Thats just me.

Before judging me and what I do and or have done, Please, Look in the mirror, evaluate yourself first, ask God if its your place.

I do my Best with the hand I have been delt. I am a FULL TIME MOTHER. Nothing comes above that. NOTHING. I am a FULL TIME STUDENT, I have to do this to survive and hkeep my FULL TIME MOTHER status (LOL) and I am a part time worker. I Love my Job. I am a Daughter, Grand-daughter, niece, aunt, sister and friend. I know my place. If you have any questions in this, Then please direct them somewhere else, Because as you can see from my titles above. I am quite busy in this short life.


T0- My Friends who have been here through everything, No matter what -

I want to thank you for understanding, and letting me be myself. I want to thank you for keeping me sain during this last year and any other time I have fallen from grace. Thank you for that drink you bought me to level me out, Thank you for putting up with my random ramblings about men and my problems with. all in all, Thank you for just associating yourself with me. Thats one of the hardest jobs EVER.

Back With A Passion.

I have been out of commission for over a year. This past year has brought so many different emotions. Sadness, Hatred, Love, Happiness, to even sorrow. This year has been a LONG one and I don't know where to start writing again. All I know is that I need to. This is my story and This is my Journey in this life. Writing is the one way I am able to get this out of my head, to really vent and understand what I am feeling. As I write and read it back to myself I see things that I didnt know or understand things I Didn't at one time.

There is a new me that has come out. Since I separated from my Husband Almost a year ago, I have delt with alot of things I didn't think i would ever have to deal with. I went from what looked like to everyone wlse having a pretty good life. I was a Stay at Home mom. I got to spend EVERY waking day with my son. I will not go into details of what happened and why, It does not matter. All I Know is I am happy to have myself back. Bigger (skinnier :P) and Better than before. I went from a Stay at Home mom to a part time job, that Luckily i can take my son with me, living with my parents and feeling like a 16 year old with a kid. I was lost. where do I go from here? I have no work history really? I was married for 5 years. 5YEARS. How do I survive on my own? how do I become a single mother?

This year I have struggled financially. So much, 15 hours a week isnt enough to survive, and didn't receive financial help from My ex until September. I have some how made it. My son is healthy and taken care of. Thats all that matters to me. My parents have been the biggest help. without them I would be homeless.

Here I am before you. Still struggling, still trying to find my place. I will. Things are coming my way that are going to be GREAT. Honestly, I will have to Trust in God to put me where I am suppose to be. to Guide me to the right place. No more pretending, No more looking happy when I am torn. and No more Feeling sorry for anyone. This is my story to tell and I will tell it as truthful as I can. Things are coming and I will be writing about them .

Upcoming: I start school Finally, This month. In a week actually. I am scared to death. But This is what I want and NEED to do.

My life is about to get Busy and chaotic. :) But I will survive and I will make my path.