I have been out of commission for over a year. This past year has brought so many different emotions. Sadness, Hatred, Love, Happiness, to even sorrow. This year has been a LONG one and I don't know where to start writing again. All I know is that I need to. This is my story and This is my Journey in this life. Writing is the one way I am able to get this out of my head, to really vent and understand what I am feeling. As I write and read it back to myself I see things that I didnt know or understand things I Didn't at one time.
There is a new me that has come out. Since I separated from my Husband Almost a year ago, I have delt with alot of things I didn't think i would ever have to deal with. I went from what looked like to everyone wlse having a pretty good life. I was a Stay at Home mom. I got to spend EVERY waking day with my son. I will not go into details of what happened and why, It does not matter. All I Know is I am happy to have myself back. Bigger (skinnier :P) and Better than before. I went from a Stay at Home mom to a part time job, that Luckily i can take my son with me, living with my parents and feeling like a 16 year old with a kid. I was lost. where do I go from here? I have no work history really? I was married for 5 years. 5YEARS. How do I survive on my own? how do I become a single mother?
This year I have struggled financially. So much, 15 hours a week isnt enough to survive, and didn't receive financial help from My ex until September. I have some how made it. My son is healthy and taken care of. Thats all that matters to me. My parents have been the biggest help. without them I would be homeless.
Here I am before you. Still struggling, still trying to find my place. I will. Things are coming my way that are going to be GREAT. Honestly, I will have to Trust in God to put me where I am suppose to be. to Guide me to the right place. No more pretending, No more looking happy when I am torn. and No more Feeling sorry for anyone. This is my story to tell and I will tell it as truthful as I can. Things are coming and I will be writing about them .
Upcoming: I start school Finally, This month. In a week actually. I am scared to death. But This is what I want and NEED to do.
My life is about to get Busy and chaotic. :) But I will survive and I will make my path.
