Decisions

I look back at a decision that i made just a couple of months ago. i took a risk with my heart and now i see it was a risk i should not have made. I was getting close to a man i have always been close to.. But I chose to get into a relationnship with the other man that came into my life... Now looking back maybe i should have been there for the one that has always been there for me. after falling for the new guy, things were great. experienced feelings I never knew i could, and as fast as i fell, He dropped me. I called the one I knew. I wanted to see how he was. i hate to hear that he went through what he went through without me. but I am glad he is good now. but the phone call was awkward. He was with friends and it was like we havent talked in YEARS. not months. I can't help but wonder where i would be if i didnt take the chance with the new guy. if I had just kept dating the one that was there... my heart wouldnt have been broken, and I would possibly still be happy and still have the new guy as my best friend like he was. Perhaps they both would be here for me in a different light. You live and you learn right? But perhaps I missed out on the chance I was waiting for For the experience of my broken heart. Being Single now, once again, I know someone out there is waiting on me. Is thinking the same things I am. and i just hope i find him one day. Until then i will put my complete focus on my Son and school and work. I will build my life alone once again and go up from there.

Starting over (again)

I finally have my computer to where I can keep my blog up and running and Thank God because i need somewhere to vent...

So far this year i have been the happiest and the saddest in a few months... I dated a great guy... FAIL. It's not even worth explaining. But all thats left is to pick back up and go on with life. it seems that's what I am good at..

School is going well. I am loving the hands on stuff more than the initial paperwork stuff i actually started going to school for... I am thinking I may want to change my major to Full Medical assistant. i love helping people and being right there.. we will see how the shots thing goes before I do that..

Christian is 4... 4!!!! I can't believe how the time has flown by. he isnt a baby anymore... I know he will always be my baby but he is a kid now.. i don't know what to do about this... I can't make him stop growing or talking... or eating all of my food.

Life has taken such a weird turn for me. I'll be 25 this year and have been through so much already. I wonder if life will ever slow down and be a normal for me. but then again, what is normal these days?

After thee emotional toll this week has taken on me, I am taking my baby to the beach. He is the ONLY man i need by me to keep me happy and complete. and we are going to hang out with my friends... i hope all of them show up tomorrow. I know for sure i will have a couple of friends out there.. :) Should be a fun fun day. i can't wait. i need to be on the beach and enjoying life, not worrying about Love and the people who break promises.

i am still losing weight. i am on a lovely diet at the moment.. and i will be where i want to be one day. And in life in general.. I WILL BE WHERE I WANT TO BE. With or without certain people.