You say "Bitch" Like it's a bad thing

It has been a long time since I have posted. I Know SAD. But really The reasoning behind it is that I am Finding out who I am. I am growing into myself and Where i belong. I am becoming who I am suppose to be. Yes I am a Mother of a GREAT Outgoing 2 and a half year old Boy. Yes I am a wife of a Hardworking Wonderful husband. But I have come to remember who I am and who I want to be. I am Tiffany Amber Plyler Gray Lewis.

Yes I Just Put Plyler in there. For one fact, I am who I am today because of My Biological father too. If Things Didn't play out Like they did, My mother wouldn't have learned how to be as strong as she is, I wouldn't have Learned from her how to survive without a man. ( Not dissing Brandon, But I never "needed" a man. Just wanted one ;) ) If he did Not leave I would not have known My Daddy. Hence the Gray name I legally kept to show him Respect. He is a lifesaver. He stepped in and Took me on as his own. I don't feel like I am treated the same as his kids sometimes recently, But I know he loves me and he just Doesn't know how to Let go and Let be.

There are some people in my life that have accepted me and some that haven't. The ones that have I Love dearly and i appreciate them.. The ones that have not. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. It use to bother me that I wasn't liked or accepted. Not that I would change who I was for them.. But I didn't like when people Didn't like me... Now, I don't care. I am fully 100% happy with that because if you don't like me, It's your problem not mine. I am who I am and I don't care what people think. If I want to Bitch about something by God I am going to and a FAIR WARNING: MY FILTER BETWEEN MY HEAD AND MY MOUTH IS SLOWLY DISSOLVING. So what comes up comes out. If you don't like it... I Don't care.. :) I will do what I want when I want with no one telling me they don't like it, I shouldn't do it for their own selfish reasons, Or I should do something I think I shouldn't. I am sick and tired of "protecting" other people so guess what? If you screw me over Ill screw you over twice. Hello I am Karma's sidekick.. We are both Bitches. No one will run over me anymore! I will not pretend to not do something around people. I am who I am.

I don't know.. I Like the new me.. I am getting more of what I want. I am thinking for myself and what I believe is right. With me Finding myself and being who I am, My Child will learn to be himself no matter what. That's What I want for him. It's been quite funny, I am quicker with my comebacks that are better then before. I Know where i stand now and STEP ASIDE. cause I am coming through. No one will take anything away from me. I am losing my weight and I am going to be happy with Myself for the rest of my life. No more pleasing for everyone else. IT'S MY TURN :)

So If you are offended by the word BITCH. You wont like me. :)

Its August. YEP

Things are Looking up so much. Brandon got his promotion! We have our house back with just US! It's amazing of how much work does into having ONE lazy brother living with you Just to keep your house clean, The Two year old isn't too hard to clean up after. He has a few toys and food here and there and that is it! The laundry has stayed done, The dishes are very few and I don't have to fight for hot water. I am Loving it! Brandon and I are FINALLY getting the things we want!

We just got a new Couch, It was given to us by one of Brandon's Co-Workers. Its Almost Exactly like I was looking for and wanted. It sets off our living room. Its a neutral Brown color and VERY comfortable. Our bedroom actually looks good now that we got the Decorative black out curtains. Slowly but surely the house is coming together to look like a Home.

We have decided to put off buying a house right now. We still have some stuff to take care of on his credit, I have a lot of letters to send out cause of some speculation in if these were even his or if they were even filed right. So we are working on that But When we buy a house we wont be able to Decorate how we would like So we are buying and fixing the house the way we want it. so That will be done Before we are strapped with a full house payment and I need a new car first. Mine is REALLY breaking down and It will be for the best. We couldn't be happier with this Decision. we are going to do this right.

Summer is coming to a close, Not weather wise because we know how Florida is, HA HA. BUT things are calming down. Now I am going to be getting together with some friends and Really Getting some relationships built down here. I need some more friends and some escapes.

and YES it is August, HURRICANE SEASON. and as of this morning, we finally have our first named storm for the season. Lets say a prayer together.

LORD, Please Do not Blow the Gulf coast off of the map this year. we like our home and Would really like to have something to live in by ourselves until we buy a house, then the insurance will help :) In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A new Chapter in my Physical wellbeing life.

I am ecstatic about some of the things that are happening. and I am happy to be sharing them with my friends and family. My Friend Amber and I have been working out At the Gym, and well I have lost about 30 pounds, But we have plateaued, we are about to really step it up, actually we started stepping it up yesterday. and to help us step it up, we have set a goal for ourselves. We want to Build out stamina to JOG in our first 5K. I am excited about this, and the American Red Cross is doing their Red White and Blue themed 5K on July 18Th so we are shooting for that!! Now Don't think we are in it to win.... HA HA NO we are just setting a goad to jog the whole 5K and cross that finish line. Eventually we would like to work up to competing, That would be awesome! but BABY STEPS!! I Can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about this! I will have to keep a blog going to update on our progress, Like last night, we went on the Elliptical as long as we could.. and we were on there a little over 20 mins, and then the Bike for a little over 15 mins, that's good considering we were Flat at 3o mins of cardio and that's it we were spent, and everyday we are going to push ourselves until we cant any more. I am excited about this!!

I have been working out like I wanted to, Amber and I are holding each other accountable to it! and its working! We just have to step it up!! That's what we plan on doing from here on out and Especially for the next 7 weeks! Please encourage us and Pray for us to achieve our goals!

On a family note, things are going VERY WELL! Brandon and I are about to hit it hard working on his credit score so maybe by the end of the year we can buy a house and maybe start trying for the next child! I am SO blessed with what I have and what I am pushing myself to get. I Love my family and extended family, and I am glad we are keeping in touch! I am excited to be getting in touch with some old friends and making some new ones soon!!

Christian is getting so big now! He is also starting to talk a lot more. I can't believe I have a little boy now and not a baby anymore! well he will always be my baby but he is so independent now! I can tell him its night night time and he will go jump in his bed and lay there for me to cover him up and tuck him in... for Naps AND Night time! he is such a good boy! I Love him with all of my heart and I can honestly tell you I don't remember what I did everyday before him... L) and I don't mind a bit!

The Climb

Have you heard Miley Cyrus' song the Climb? That is an awesome song! It's a great motivational song, and it sooo me. I Love it. Its about how It's not about the mountain and what is on the other side, its the climb, It's the journey. There is always going to be things in your life you want to accomplish and you seem to learn more on the way to that accomplishment then actually doing it.

I am so proud to day my weight loss is going GREAT!! I am down 27 lbs total since I started working out 2 months ago, and 13-15 of those were in the past 2 weeks of going to the Gym! I feel so Good! That was a boost i needed tonight. I was starting to feel alittle downa nd then BAM I stepped on the scale and I was shocled to see the number!! I am glad I have some good people supporting me. wether I have met them in person or not, They are some good people!! I work out at least 4 days a week and from an hour to an hour and a half we workout. I have never been so excited and pumped to exercise before, I didn't go today and i felt bad, I really wanted to go I guess!!

I had an awesome time at the beach. Aaron you are awesome! I am liking the relationships I am getting at with my friends. I want to start building better relationships with ALL of my friends and form my own little Group! No not really but I want to be closer with my friends. and I want my friends to be around Christian and watch him grow up and be a part in it. I want to go to the beach alot more with you guys! I want to start going to festivals with you guys! have more cook outs and Family friendly cook outs!

I am excited about the things to come and I am being optimistic about everything. I don't think I really have a choice in the matter because I REFUSE to be negative, It causes wrinkles. and I will not have it! HA!

My family is awesome too. Christian is such a funny little kid. He is sweet and mean all together. he has so many influences in his life and I am so glad for that. My Husband is a Great guy and he is helping me out alot since I ahve been busy and doing my own thing and I am so glad to have a man that trusts me and undertstads I have friends and I have a life too. I Love my momma, she is such a great listener and can give advise about ANYTHING. she is always there for me and I Know I can count on her for anything ( even reading this blog) I know if NO ONE reads this she will. I Know she loves my writing and thoughts. My Daddy, He is so understanding about what I want to do and the decisions I am making in my life. He is everything I could have asked for in a daddy and he picked me :) So I am special :) and Yes even Bill for wanting to have a relationship with me. no matter what happened almost a year ago, I am giving him another chance because I Know at one point sometimes I wished I had one more chance some places in my life. Life is too short to hold anything against anyone... and I Love my family and friends and sometimes I wish I was included more in some of the things they do, But Its ok. The world does not revolve around me. and I am glad it doesn't, I couldnt handle that much Attention... hA HA

Acccomplish your goals, Live your life, tell people everyday You love them, Leave the past behind you and move on.

exciting, Fun, Busy... what day is it??

Monday I think my life took a turn for the Busy! and I have to say I don't have any complaining... YET. I am so excited to be out and about doing stuff!!!! First of all a friend of mine Mysti needed someone to watch her ADORABLE daughter, Freyja. So I volunteered! Then I set up a time to work at the Gym for my membership, and I Picked tuesdays 9-11 am. So there are my tuesdays, and I am working for a membership so I will be working out in the afternoons, THEN my Dad called wanting me to Take over his calls, to kinda Be his assistant. I will be calling people who are leads and put info into the system. well I am a YES Ma'am this week buddy!

Freyja is a JOY to keep, she isnt Bad at all! she is one awesome little girl! She and Christian get along GREAT! I am enjoying helping out a friend and letting my Munchkin have friends and play outside and enjoy himself. I will be keeping her monday through Fridayuntil right after Lunch until May 14th... So I should be BUSY until then.

Working out is going great, now if only us girls on our kick will stick together and opush eachother, then we should be GOOD! really though, Its awesome to be able to go and workout when I want and have no worries! I just need to keep going in on tuesdays and working out Every day I can and I will be GOOD!

This thing for Dad could be awesome, I will get paid for how many people I bring in! I can work from home and anytime I want. I just need to be respectful of the people I call. ( I am paranoid about that anyways) So we will see how this goes, I am gonna call my dad tomorrow and talk to him about it so I can get started!

Today I went with Amber to pick up Aaron from the airport! I am sooo glad he is back, and staying at that. He is such an awesome person! lol YAY!

Friday we have his welcome home party at Kelsi's house, Its gonna be a pajama party! LOL So I have to get the stuff I am going to cook Friday when I get done babysitting. I ahve to be in touch with Chelsea for babysitting Friday night... :) she is one awesome chick, and no I am not saying that just because she is Babysitting for me for REALLY late... :) HEY CHELSEA!

My mom just called and told me the house I want to rent, which is the house we first moved into when we moved down here, and the house brandon and I met in, is for rent again!! so I will be driving by and getting the number and calling to see how much they have it listed for again... :) Neva know!!

it is 8:34 pm, Christian is still awake and I am tired with a "messy" house, so I am done, I am going to oput my monkey head in bed, Vacuum the floor and wipe stuff off, finish dishes and laundry and I am showering and BEDTIME FOR ME!!

Enjoy these!

"It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it."~The Golden Girls

"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."~Unknown

"A mother is she who can take the place of all others butwhose place no one else can take."-- Cardinal Mermillod

"Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process."-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." ~William D. Tammelus

nothing, Just Rambling

I am really considering going back to school to be a counselor and/ or psycologist. I am really interested in how people think, I mean the more and more I sit here I realize that some people just never "get it" ( Sorry didn't mean to get all Dr. Phil on you) But seriously. I want to study people and figure out why they do the things they do, why are some creatures of habit and others "freebirds" so to say and why do opposites attract, my origional theory for that is just the theory of Balance. But I want to study it. I want to know why some parent human beings reject their children ( its not like a puppy rejecting because a human held it, unless we are the dogs and God is the humans... interesting... hmmm....) I want to know why some have it in them to kill and some don't. I want to know why some people can beat their spouse and/ or children and have no emotion what so ever. I want to know how one simple " incident" can send a mother into a protection state for her child and attempt to rip someone's head off. I want to know how people in genweal work from the most complex to the most ordinary people.

What are your thoughts on how people work? what makes some people tick?

What reasoning do you do what you do? What makes you tick?

I'm Moving on

I am listening to this song, "I'm Moving on" Rascal Flatts, I heard it on Bill's Myspace, and You know this song can go about A LOT of things, and it got me thinking, you know in a way I am moving on from myself, the old me that hung on to what people had done to me, People who turned their backs on me my whole life, or abused me or my friendship in someway or another... I am moving on from my old self that was Overweight and did nothing about it and yet though thinking I would wake up one day and it would be gone. I am moving on from when I would smoke Cigarettes, and put toxins into my body shortening the time I had on this earth with my Son and any other children I might or might not have one day. I need to start taking care of myself from now on, I mean how can I take care of someone else when I can't even make the time to take are of myself. I need to start branching out and making friends of my own and having a life outside of my house, I need to take my son to the park and let him play and make friends and I need to get out there and play with him, that can be some of my exercise...

I am portioning my food now and exercising. I need to stop worrying about how I look when I exercise and do it when I need to, not just when Brandon and Matt works. I should let my son see me exercise because then he will see that's a part of a healthy lifestyle. I need to eat more Salads and less greasy burgers and stuff... So what if my house isn't clean when my son is happy because he spent time with me playing outside or somewhere else today?!?!?!? I need an attitude adjustment and I need support from my friends, My REAL friends. and I want to motivate my friends to be better people! I want to get my friends together for healthy meals or a workout or something. I need to support my friends in quitting smoking because that is what was stopping me from being able to exercise and be healthy, I also need to cut loose the people who do nothing but bring me down. I need a support system. Not a down fall plan.

If you are here to support me better me, then tell me, If not, I Hope you have enough guts to tell me so we can get on with our lives and stop pretending. My Son needs a healthy wonderful mom who takes chances and socializes with him. My husband needs a wife who supports him and stands beside him always, and is there to help in any way with the running of our household. My Brothers need a Sister to be strong and Teach them and to help them when they need it. and My Parents need a daughter to help take care of them and do things they can't do anymore Like they did for me as a child. My In laws and all need the same thing.

Today, I am Tiffany Lewis, Young Wife, Mother of 1, Homemaker, stay at home mom, life improving, getting back to her old outgoing self, Christian Woman.

HEAR ME ROAR

Make up your mind people!

I really wish people would make up their mind of if they want to be in my life or not. I mean you can't have it both ways. you can't claim me one day and the other Not. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. I am wondering what people are thinking. I swear I need to go back to school to me a psychologist. I am too interested in how crazy people think...LOL <~~ that was not toward anyone in particular. I just really want to know why people say one thing one time and then say the complete opposite the next time. The person that this is about he knows, and HEY YOU! If you are reading this, Please explain this because I would like to know. REALLY.

anyways, On to other things... Christian is FULLY in the Terrible twos already, he is one rambuncious Boy I tell you. but his big blue eyes make up for it.. :) I am a sucker for blue eyes... :) We got him a new pet the other day, we got a guinea pig. We named her Ginny. ( Sounds like Jenny).. LMAO really its funny how we came up with it. I have a lady I use to work for and she is Ditsy and out there, but a sweet lady really, and well My mother in law works for her still and it cracks me up because her name is Virginia and she goes by Ginny and HATES for anyone to call her Ginny and well I was joking around and said GINNY THE GUINEA... and well it suck, I called My MIL Cracking up... wow its great. But she is sooo cute! she is black and white and so calm and cuddly.

I hate going to just the post office. I have no other errands just running to the post office because we ran out of stamps... I mean really... I HATE IT. I may wait until Brandon gets up and let him watch Christian so I can go in Peace.

OH AND TO EVERYONE:: Watch the coolant/ water in your cars... Mine Disappeared and Guess what?? My car over heated Saturday night coming from my moms house... and a long ways from my house, Brandon was at work and Matt didn't have a cell phone and he was right behind me... My parents had to come all the way from their house to me... :) all is well but Dang please be careful!!!

Life is a highway?

That quote is awesome. I ran across it a few Minutes ago and I thought to myself "that's me, That's what I want out of life" and there it is. I am one human being that NO MATTER if I sit at home all day and not do a thing I can still think of a million things that are going on around me in life. Man Life is One busy thing. i get exhausted just thinking about everything going on.

I have a 2 year old. Yes i know we have already stated that fact. But seriously, he is a temper tantrum throwing, all out there Screaming, attention grabbing, house destroying, toddler boy. He is a two year old and I am leaving it at that.

The quitting smoking thing is working really well. I am officially on day 6. and NO CIGGS!!! I am enjoying this money not running low, scraping change, gotta save for Cigg. Life. Its pretty good. I am happy with my decision. Believe me its hard. Bu I am a strong Female and can do it. I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR... :)

I am ready to go to the beach.. well I say I am ready, But I don't have my essentials, I still need, a bathing suite, some new beach towels, a new smaller cooler, a beach tent, Swim diapers for Ch. Suntan lotion and sunscreen for the boys. OK so I am not ready at all... But I want to be. and that counts!!

I swear for some reason I am getting more and more accident prone... Saturday at My nephews 1st birthday party I sipped and fell and hit the inside of my right knee, and it bruised it pretty bad. (my right knee is my bad one anyways) and I was just getting over it it was only bruised, well this morning, I slipped and fell again, the EXACT same way and guess what? its bruised AGAIN and now its swollen and it feels like Jello when I walk... can we say. F'D up...

BURN NOTICE

From the look of this picture you can probably tell what this Blog os about first. Thanks rightI am quitting smoking!! Bandon is too, we are trying Because First of all, Ciggarettes are going up to almost 10 dollars a pack!!! We can't afford that and who can?!?!?!? Anyways, i am kinda glad though, really, I have been wanted to battling my thoughts to quit for a while and now I have a reason too. I am glad though because I don't ant Christian to be like " oh mom and dad re cool. they smoke s0 I will too" ya know?? I mean add it up, Brandon and I Both were going through about a pack a day and piece...se we were paying lile $7.00 for 2 packs, well $7.00 a day times 7 days a week, thats $49.00 a week. thats a good ammount right? well when you put it into monthly its.... $196.00 a month!!!!!! Thats almost $200.00 a month we are smoking away! LITERALLY!! Just for the fun, lets look at a YEAR. $2,352.00 a YEAR! wow, Thats alot of money... what to do with all this money after quitting??? WE WILL SEE!!!! YAY

I am craving one right now.. I really want to walk outside and light one up. But I am not going to. I don't need it. I am just getting bored and out of habit I am wanting to go and get one. But I am not buying ANY MORE . Its gonna be hard and i am gonna be bitchy but oh well, its worth it. I am probably going to become OCD about cleaning to keep my hands busy, LOL or blogging and typing to keep my hands busy!! WOW... Its gonna be hard but oh well I can do it. I am strong enough, and what I am going to do is workout when I am fighting the urge for a cig. and It will also help with me losing weight!! So I will be blogging about my adventures with that...

I am also talking to my Sperm Donars soon to be Ex Wife... Linda. she contacted me last week, and Yea my Sperm Donar's soon to be ex wife... I love her to death, and we have decided to stay in touch! So we might go over to Gulfport, Miss. soon to see her or she might come over here... :) she is such a sweet Lady and we have so much in comment when it come to the people in or out of our lives...LOL she is awesome. So I wil be blogging about the adventures with this too, So stay Tuned!!

My Son is officially 2 years old and showing it! LOL He is right on target with weight and heighth but he has a big head...lol He is in the 75% with his head...LMAO But he is on target EVERYWHERE else... :) and it seems as if shen he Turned 2 that was it he started wanting to become a big boy and is starting to want to do stuff himself and do things a big boy does... I am so proud of him!!!

So Please stand behind me in the MAJOR changes comeing up in my life!!

I'll Get you My Pretty, and your little Dog too!!!!

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in a movie? How about You run into people or know someone who lives in their own fantasy world? People Like that I just Don't understand. I don't understand people who Know right from wrong but still choose wrong even when they have someone their whispering in their ear the consequences of their wrong actions. I have someone REALLY close to me that is like that. He can be one of the smartest and Brightest one human being on this earth but has no idea what its like to survive on his own and make the right choices to make him a better person and a better life. Sometimes with this person I feel like I am the wicked witch of the west and I am out to get him Like somepeople seem to him too. But really I just want him to make something of himself, I want him to be somebody one day, I don't want him to tun into a jailbird.

WOW my child will be 2 in 4 days!!! I mean I knew it was comeing and i knew it had to happen someday but DANG!! Its like last year, we are all like awww... he is turning one! how cute! This year we are all like WTH HAPPENED TO THIS PAST YEAR?!?!? He is sooo sweet and mean at the same time! He LOVES to jump on our Big king size bed... He likes to wake up and sneak out of his bedroom and run into the livingroom like he is in a broadway play with his arms up in the air and yell "HEYY!" He is my joy and My heart is about to burst with all of the love I have for him. WOW 2 years old!

For the past 2 months I have been working out and Trying my Hardest to lose some weight and Guess what? as of today I have lost a total of 18 lbs!! 18lbs! Did you read that???? Its amazing! I am down to 220 and I couldnt be happier ( well I take that back i could be happier if I could wear a bikini and Not look like a beached wale caught up in a too small of a net on the beach) But I am getting there. My Luck I will get down to a Nice size for me and BAM Ill get preg again... MY LUCK I TELL YA... But really i wouldnt complain one bit :)

So my words of wisdom for tonight: Don't let ANYONE take your kindness for weakness, and I can be a wicked witch if I want to, I can bleed for 7 days and not die.

Paving the way to a better life?? can you do that?

We Found a house we are absolutely in LOVE with. The only thing is that it came at the WORST time possible. We just paid our rent for our home now and have no money for a deposit. We are working on ways to get the deposit up but no one has the money for us to borrow right now and you know what? That is OK with me because the way I see it is that every time we need something or want something that requires help we help ourselves. We have always been the one that has taken care of ourselves and made out own path and We will do it again. I will not be the one that Runs and runs and run and never makes it anywhere... I will cross that finish line.

I have been thinking a lot about my Biological father. its like when things go bad I think about how he should OR have been there to help when I needed. Its like now I want to shout at home "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???" But every time I start going what is wrong, I think about my Daddy, he is the best man ever and would Do ANYTHING within his power to help me if I absolutely needed it. and This man LOVES my son more than anything in this world, He is Paw paw.

I Hope I get out more and Start meeting more Moms. I really need more friends that understand that I have a young child and he goes where i do. Also, understands the things I go through on a daily basis and Someone to talk to. I am so thankful for websites like our local momslikeme.com Site. Those women are funny and awesome!

Laundry Multiplies Like a hooker with no Birthcontrol

I swear I have been washing clothes all day for the past 3 days, IT DOESN'T STOP! I mean I Know I have 3 adults and 1 child here in this house but come on!! I am washing so much that by the time I have the load done I am tired and just Piling it up in a laundry basket and then its sitting there. i should make a dresser that all you have to do it Load laundry baskets in it. Or a machine that folds... Either One!

My room mate Amber and her son Caleb finally moved out, So now Matt has his room back, So we are getting back to somewhat of a resemblance of a normal Life. Now all we need is to get Matt a car and we all will be good to go and can get into a routine! Because Taking him to wirk and Brandon going to work at the same time leaves us cooking supper for lunch almost. and it gets OLD. But hopefully sometime soon we will get this routine together.

I can't Believe Its snowing so much in Tuscaloosa, Its amazing. I want someone to send Pictures so I can see!! It doesnt happen that often! and of course it never happens here, I am not saying I LOVE snow, its pretty and If I was somewhere it snowed I would go outside for a couple of pictures and then retreat back into my warm house. I HATE cold weather!!

I can't wait for summer, Even though I am still overweight and look horrible in a swimsuit, I LOVE the beach and warm weather. Its so much Fun!! I can't wait to be sitting at bamboo willies and drinking a Bushwacker and listening to bands playing. That is the BEST.

and now my thoughts of the beach are broken by the dryer alarm going off.... When does it stop?

Economic down swing actually good for my family.

I Know people everywhere are having a rough time. We had a rough time at the beginning of the Economic downturn. But with Recessions the people like us, Just barely making it by end up on top. Just because we don't own a house, we rent from people who have their houses paid off. Brandon has gotten plenty of raises recently to Cover all of our bills and plus some to Upgrade our stuff, and he is due for another yearly raise. we are sitting pretty good.

Matthew Just started back to work lastnight at the Beer warehouse. He got in a good 14 hours. shich is awesome. He is working Nights and only monday through thursday, so he has the weekends off. Our other room mate Amber and her son Caleb, are moving out this weekend so Matthew will have his room back and we will be able to cut down on the power Bill and All of that. All we need to do now is get Matthew a car. Dad has an Idea and talked to someone who can get him financed for a small $3,000 Car when he gets his first paystub. He will be paying us rent again and helping with Groceries. So we all will be sitting pretty in a few months.

We have started going back to Church. we are going to Liberty Church North Campus. We Love it. I need to call and make an appt. with the Pastor. we want to Talk to him and calm Brandon about some fears with some churches he went to and had problems with when he was younger. God is Blessing us in so many ways. Christian LOVES Church too. He has so much fun. I really feel we are doing what we need to do in order to please God and opening our hearts for him to work in our Lives.

I am pushing myself to workout and get healthy again. I really need to stay focused on what I want in Life. I want to have another Child, But I want to be at a healthy weight to do it. I want to be able to run around with Christian and not get tired, I want to be able to go to a store and walk in and try something on in a Lower size and it Fit and not have to worry about getting stressed because I can't find anything to wear. I want to be the real me. So with Everyones support I can do this. I know I can.

I am going to start blogging everyday, or every other day to vent and get things out in the open. To help me with my goals and to prove to someone out there reading this things can get better, we started at the bottom and we have climbed our way to the top. with God's Help.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"