Decisions

I look back at a decision that i made just a couple of months ago. i took a risk with my heart and now i see it was a risk i should not have made. I was getting close to a man i have always been close to.. But I chose to get into a relationnship with the other man that came into my life... Now looking back maybe i should have been there for the one that has always been there for me. after falling for the new guy, things were great. experienced feelings I never knew i could, and as fast as i fell, He dropped me. I called the one I knew. I wanted to see how he was. i hate to hear that he went through what he went through without me. but I am glad he is good now. but the phone call was awkward. He was with friends and it was like we havent talked in YEARS. not months. I can't help but wonder where i would be if i didnt take the chance with the new guy. if I had just kept dating the one that was there... my heart wouldnt have been broken, and I would possibly still be happy and still have the new guy as my best friend like he was. Perhaps they both would be here for me in a different light. You live and you learn right? But perhaps I missed out on the chance I was waiting for For the experience of my broken heart. Being Single now, once again, I know someone out there is waiting on me. Is thinking the same things I am. and i just hope i find him one day. Until then i will put my complete focus on my Son and school and work. I will build my life alone once again and go up from there.

Starting over (again)

I finally have my computer to where I can keep my blog up and running and Thank God because i need somewhere to vent...

So far this year i have been the happiest and the saddest in a few months... I dated a great guy... FAIL. It's not even worth explaining. But all thats left is to pick back up and go on with life. it seems that's what I am good at..

School is going well. I am loving the hands on stuff more than the initial paperwork stuff i actually started going to school for... I am thinking I may want to change my major to Full Medical assistant. i love helping people and being right there.. we will see how the shots thing goes before I do that..

Christian is 4... 4!!!! I can't believe how the time has flown by. he isnt a baby anymore... I know he will always be my baby but he is a kid now.. i don't know what to do about this... I can't make him stop growing or talking... or eating all of my food.

Life has taken such a weird turn for me. I'll be 25 this year and have been through so much already. I wonder if life will ever slow down and be a normal for me. but then again, what is normal these days?

After thee emotional toll this week has taken on me, I am taking my baby to the beach. He is the ONLY man i need by me to keep me happy and complete. and we are going to hang out with my friends... i hope all of them show up tomorrow. I know for sure i will have a couple of friends out there.. :) Should be a fun fun day. i can't wait. i need to be on the beach and enjoying life, not worrying about Love and the people who break promises.

i am still losing weight. i am on a lovely diet at the moment.. and i will be where i want to be one day. And in life in general.. I WILL BE WHERE I WANT TO BE. With or without certain people.

Welcome 2011.

I Found this picture because It reminds me of how I feel with the new year that is here. This is a new year, New beginnings, New Friends, New friendships with old friends and new relationships. I welcome 2011 with open arms.

On the way home from Picking up my son in Tuscaloosa today I was listening to music and doing A LOT of thinking. This weekend brought on a whole new way of thinking, and new connectons and new feelings. As I was riding in the back seat, Feeling like I was 16 again, I realized that the worst of my situation is behind me. It's not finished, No. But the worst is over. 2010 was a hard hard year. after my husband and I separated Thanksgiving of 2009, It made 2010 a HORRIBLE year. I didn't get anything accomplished but small steps, which are better than none I know BUT I felt most of 2010 was a dream. A bad dream.

As I Look into this new upcoming year I seen Great thinks happening, Great possibilities arising before they even get here. I am already In school. a Fast track program and I will be Graduation in september of this year. I want to try my best to Graduate with a 4.0. I Will bust my butt this year TRYING. and I Know I can.

My son will be 4 in March, I am looking into his preK School I want to put him in. and So by August he should be in school. :) My baby is growing up! He is so amazing to be and really is a special boy that had adjusted to the Chaotic year we had better than any 3 year old. I am so glad that I have a strong and Loving little boy who is loved by many many wonderful people!

This year i will Continue to Be healthy. I will Continue to workout and eat right and keep my goals up. I ahve Lost A LOT of weight already, But I still have more to go. At this point I am not searching for the prefect body. I am working to stay healthy. to get healthier. The Body is just the BONUS ;)

This year I will be more selective with whom I let into my life. This list includes family and friends. I have my support system and I have my Loving friends and family. I don't need any added drama or such in my life. especially if it does not concern me.

This year I will have MORE pride in myself. I will choose who and what and how and when. I will make the calls. I will be more independant and I will Stand on my own 2 feet with my son holding my hand next to me with my degree smiling at the world.

By the end of this year. I will be where I was suppose to be years ago. Only better.